1. Every discussion with a Labour supporter means putting them right about how tuition fees actually work and it’s driving you to drink

2. Your garage is full of Corex boards

I mean literally. Hundreds of them. And you have no idea whether you should recycle them or save them for the future.

3. You care about everyone. Even people who don’t vote for you. Dammit!

4. You have a surprising collection of Riso spare parts

And a broken, horribly obsolete Riso printer in the garage that you won’t get rid of just in case you can fix it in time for the next election.

5. Without becoming aware of it, you started really getting into orange

6. That’s quite a collection of political leaflets you have there

Yours. Your party colleagues. The other local parties. And a folder full on your computer as well. It’s research, you tell yourself, but mostly you just like mocking the awful state of UKIP leaflets.

7. You have a box labelled “excuses for Tim Farron’s statements on homosexuality.” It’s empty

8. You can empathise with postmen over letterbox positions, how snappy some of them are, and swap tips on best walks


9. You spend so much time on campaigning, that your ability to count fails you

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